Dear Muslims

Dear Muslims,

When you, for whatever reasons, leave your home to come live temporarily or permanently in another country, please do bring your own traditions and values.
Most people are - or at least were - open minded in the west and willing to try things or do things in a different way.
But, Dear Muslims, please do not come and mock our traditions and beliefs and do not try to force your views or ethics on us.
We have our ways and welcome yours as long as it doesn't interfer with our own.

In most schools, at least in Denmark, hats and other headgear is prohibited and has been that way since before the whole veil-debate. The reason for this is that the teacher can't see their students faces and thus can't tell if they are following or not.
Despite this, muslim girls have been allowed their veils in most school, out of respect for their religion and beliefs.

Gym class is mandatory in school for all kids that doesn't have a medical condition that makes them unable to participate.
Showering afterwards is also mandatory - so kids won't have to smell each others sweat all day! Again, only if a medical condition that would make it hard to shower with the others is present, they will be allowed to skip this.
Last time I checked, Islam was not an illness.
Again, despite these traditions muslim girls have been allowed to skip showering, they have in many places even been allowed to skip gym class altogether.

I can keep on coming up with examples of the flexibility and the respect shown towards muslims and their beliefs, but I hardly think I need to now?


Dear muslims, is it too much to ask that you learn our language, so we can communicate, and that you please respect OUR traditions and beliefs?


For some it seems to be, as they have sunk to a childish level.
The recent move: complaining over piggy banks.
Seriously... this is probably one of the most innocent things in the world!
Why was it necessary to keep complaining over these piggy banks being given out, untill the point that Belgium, The Netherlands and the UK gave up and took them out of their banks and stopped giving them as freebies to children?

Piggy banks may be a little thing - but if you complain to the point thas this little innocent thing be taken away, what won't you complain over?
So what if the pig is unclean to you, nobody asked you to touch it.
(In fact - that is another example of things that has been broadly been taken into consideration. That muslims can't touch or eat meat from pigs!)

Islam is a religion of tolerance, respect and love according to some... Well then, start with respect of those that don't agree with you.

Thank you for reading.

Picture: www.made-in-china.com

Islami-Jugend?

Brainwashing of children, how disgusting does it get!

The german government did it over half a century ago, and they got alot wiser...

But apparently the Palestinian government hasn't learnt one bit from their own violent history...



Interesting how I feel I'm slowly growing angry towards a certain religion and it's people, when I've always been one to defend it....

The kiddiecam of the big bad internet

I've just about had it!

In the "fight against terror" EU has required surveillance of people's use of the internet.
Or put somewhat more specifically; they "only" require that information be stored about what PC has been used - for what, well, you'd have to write and ask EU about that....

Denmark has, as usual, gone their own ways and taken it a step further.
Denmark records what computer goes to what website, how long they stay there and how much information is downloaded/uploaded.

I feel offended. For me and for every other responsible adult outthere.
It is a matter of principle. What I do online is my own damn business.
I use the internet in my own private home, I'm not at an office or in school or kindergarten where I need to be watched all the time.

They made this surveillance to be able to spot potential terrorists doing whatever terrorists do online, but it's clear to anyone that their mission was stillborn.
Terrorists are usually not complete idiots, they will find a way around this system if they want.

So who are left to be targeted? The majority of the internet-users. Non-terrorists.

So basically it feels like big brother is watching you! We'll just watch you because you are morally detached. We'll just sit here and wiggle our political finger at you and keep you on a leash!

Who's winning this war on terrorism?
The terrorist are!!... The only ones paying are the innocent people.

They haven't caught a single terrorist yet with this surveillance and I honestly doubt they will...


I may not be doing illegal things online, but I get tempted to do so; as in finding a workaround their surveillance, just to fight for my rights of privacy!

Setting an example

Finally!

They cought two of the people behind the recent solarium fires. One is 13, the other 15. The 13year old has been given to the social authorities and... *drumroll* the 15 year old will be indicted for fatal arson, despite the fact that no one died, a few came close!

Hopefully this will send a strong signal to the other fire-starting (b)rats, that this will not be tolerated.

I couldn't care less about the 15year old possibly going to prison for most of his young life, he had it coming!

Go judge, go!

Blown out of proportion

Blown out of proportion...

It is no longer enough to set buildings, containers and cars on fire. Now places have to be blown up too...

Like it happened to this solarium:
Two plumbers only just barely saved their lives. They had been standing near their car outside of the solarium building, and has JUST went down into a basement shaft when they heard a loud bang and ran up to see what happened, and found the building blasted.

Careless

Anton Otto Fischer, 1943
American 2nd WW campain.

The poster speaks for itself.
All I have to say is, this is as important today,
as it was then.

Send them on a work-camp!

I am SO infuriated! Please see my previous post for a throughough explanation.

Why do we have to put up with these braindead young people? I've expressed a want to have them kicked out of the country or locked up for a long time. They're terrorists. They're scaring people and ruining people's property. How is it fair that hard-working struggling people must have their possessions destroyed and their hard earned money go to buying a new home, new furniture, a new car....

And what about the memories? Can't buy new memories.

I haven't heard of any deaths as of yet, but I think it's simply a matter of time before some innocent person dies because these hateful people...

To the point:
Kicking them out of the country would certainly make a statement aswell as get rid of part of the problem.
Would you take a person into your home, that destroyed your belongings and endangered your family? I think not.
So why should Denmark take people in that endanger it's citizens? I don't see a logical explanation to it...

Locking them up would simply cost the government and it's taxpaying citizens more money, we've already lost enough in damage! So offering the pathetic lowlives a roof and free food, no thank you.

I have a much better suggestion!

Work-camps.

One may get associations to 2nd World War. But it's different, these people would not be going to the camps because of their ethnic origin and they would also not be going there to work themselves to death.

They would quite simply be going there to pay off their debt to society. Destroyed worth a million? Then you go to a work-camp till you have paid your debt off.

It would be a prison, but it would be a factory too. Of course their health and welfare would be taken care of, but they would be paying for their own damned stay and paying back the stuff they have destroyed.

So that way Denmark wouldn't have to kick them out of the country OR pay for a costly prison stay.

Utopia, I guess.

Denmark in flames

A burning school. Photo borrowed from www.eb.dk - taken by Kristian Linnemann.

For 6 nights fires have been started around the country. Last night private residences, cars and schools were burnt. Firefighters rushing from one place to the other, police cars patrolling the area near school.

Some people have been arrested.

The major problem about it all is that the firestarters are children; aged 15-17.
They're angry immigrants and children of immigrants, violently protesting an assault against a 65 year old immigrant and his son.

What gives them the right to burn buildings and cars, endangering innocent people - other immigrants among those - I really don't know.
It's pathetic and childish to act out like this because of one cop's outburst.

The punishment for starting fires that doesn't end up with death is rather mild - why can't these people be prosecuted like terrorists? That IS what they are.

Randomly starting fires throughout the whole country and inflicting fear and damage worth millions - that is in my opinion terror.
And they need to be punished as such.

There needs to be zero tolerance with this malicious damage and endangering of people's lives and safety.

But the politicians of this country don't see that there is litterally a riot, on the verge of civil war, going on.

I wonder, how many lives must be lost before the military is brought in to stop these kids?

And this post has absolutely nothing to do with them being immigrants - I feel the exact same way about the young men and women that started fires, destroying for millions, because they wanted a house........

What is this called?

So here's an odd question...

What is this name of this?

Free music? Woo!

As one of the many people who enjoy and appreciate music, I was thrilled when I heard about the possibility of getting FREE music - legally that is.

It was on a news site I read about Qtrax coming out. A program promising free music, only at the echange of putting up with an advertizement here and there.

So it would be like radio, only I could put together my own list of songs? Briliant!
I am not sure if it would be audio advertizement or just graphic ads in the program itself. But eitherway I don't mind.

I immediately went to the site. But they were only offering a download at a specific time of the day, which happened to be 6am my time. So no thanks, rather wait.

I waited.... and finally downloads were open at all times.

So okay, the program is Beta, can't expect a whole lot from a Beta version of something.
But I was more dissapointed than I could have imagined!

I wanted to get started right away, so I signed up. But... Whatever I did a 404 showed up inside the program. (It is sort of like a minuature browser inside the program)
No use.

Snapshot from qtrax.com

I tried again later and the 404 had stopped, but eventhough I found the search feature in the confusing layout - it wasn't working.
The only way I was going to actually be listening to music was if I would listen to the popular songs of the day - apparently some songs that had been appearing around blogs on the internet?!



I might aswell just listen to the radio then...



Well patience is said to be a virtue, so I waited....
And finally my patience paid off! The search function was working, so I looked up Billy Joel and to my amazement it actually came up with a whoooole lot of results and various of albums of his.

But that was it. Eye-candy was all it was.
The songs wouldn't actually play...Clicking a song would bring up a pop-up saying "Download coming soon !!"
And it wasn't just a coinsidence - I didn't actually manage to find a song that would play.



So now I wait... yet again.

A dog's life

1. My life only lasts 10-15 years. Any seperation from you means sorrow, please think about that before you get me.

2. Allow me the time to understand what it is you ask of me.

3. Make me trusting, you are all my life.

4. Don't be mad at me for long at a time, don't lock me away as a punishment...

5. You have your work, your amusements, your friends... I only have you.

6. Talk to me, eventhough I don't understand your words, then I understand when your voice is about me.

7. Do you know that I never forget how people treat me?

8. Before you hit me, remember my jaws can easily crush your hand, but I don't make use of that strength.

9. When you get irritated with me because you are in a hurry, then think about that I might have a bellyache, been lying too long in the sun or maybe I'm tired or sad.

10. Take good care of me when I get old, you too will get old someday.

11. Make sure my fur is always brushed, nice and neat - I can't do it myself.

12. If you follow these dog pleas, you'll get the world's most happy dog.

Golden dust!

Remember this man?

I wrote about him not so long ago ( here )
The man in the picture is Anders Fogh Rasmussen, prime minister of Denmark.
Also in his own words a good friend of George W. Bush, president of the USA.

Good for you Fogh!

Now to the point, before the election in November, Fogh had already been Prime Minister for quite a while. And the results of that were clear to anybody - or so I thought!

Prices had gone up, quality had gone down, welfare had taken a drastic step down, there were more rich people but there were also more poor people.
All I have to say is, 90.000 children living in poverty in a country with just over 6mil people, that claim to be one of the richest countries in the world, THAT is not good enough!

It's been just around 2 months since the dude in the picture was elected to stay Prime Minister, and already people are wondering...

Why are prices on meat going up 50%? Why are prices on milk going up 25%? Prices on stamps 13 cents? (US dollars)
Why do the unemployed get less benefit?
Why do parents not get more child benefit?
And so on and so on...

Danes are paying between 37 and 63% in income tax and 25% in VAT.

Where has all the money gone you ask? In the pockets of the politicians and the rich people. That's where the money has gone.

Have they learnt - the people that voted to stick with the current government?
Doubtful.

It's one big price party. Prices on products go up. Soon the salaries will go up to compensate for the prices. And then the prices will go up once again because... well, people can afford it...

I am so sorry

There's a knot in my stomach, a knot of emotions and worries, it's been there since I was a child, sometimes it bothers me alot, sometimes I don't feel it at all.

Now is one of the times where I feel it all the time.
It's cocktail of different emotions, but the two major ingredients are worry and guilt, particularly the latter.

Let me tell you what guilt is, guilt is not forgetting to pay a bill, guilt is not forgetting someones birthday or not going to the wedding of a really good friend. It isn't even the feeling you get when you've called someone something nasty and then regret it, but they are still upset.

The true guilt, in it's purest form, is when you have hurt someone so badly that it is going to affect them for the rest of their lives.

I think I may have done just that to my best friend. Shattered his hopes and his dreams. Even his faith.

I pray to the God that he used to pray to. That things will improve for him, and quick.
It's eating me up from the inside, that I have caused so much anger and so much hurt in a person I care so much for.
He says he is still my friend, but as grateful as I am to be allowed to still call myself his friend, I fear that my presence reminds him of those shattered dreams.

I desperately hope that someday he will be able to look back and think that it wasn't so bad that things happened the way they did. That some day he might even say it was a good thing.

Not untill the day I know he is truly happy and with new hopes and dreams that are all coming true for him, not untill that day will I be able to leave the guilt behind.


How do you help someone that's feeling hurt and angry, get better, when you're the cause of all the misery? I really don't know. I try to not let the guilt get in the way of my attempts at helping... Feels like all I have right now is hope and the faith in God.

I look forward to the time where we can both enjoy a good time, together or alone. For my part without the nagging feeling of guilt. Even guilt over being happy...
How can you be happy when you've caused your best friend to be miserable?


I am so sorry...

T'is the season to be jolly

December... The season to be jolly?

Of course. But let's not forget why we celebrate Christmas. We celebrate the birth of Jesus.

And so in that spirit I'd like to encourage everyone to give special thought to the children.

There are so many children in this world that lives in poverty and not just in third world countries. In the Unites States of America and in Europe too.

What I have to ask is simple:

You can donate to an organization that can put your money to work. For example Red Cross http://www.icrc.org/eng

Or when you go christmas shopping and you come across a person from The Salvation Army, don't just rush on, stop for a minute and donate some money. Anything you can spare... A few dollars.

A simple google search will reveal that there are lots of other organizations that help make the life of children around the world easier.

There are children outthere that won't even get a single christmas present or even some christmas dinner - they might not even get a bowl of rice.

The true joy of christmas lies in giving, not in getting...

Don't rape your bicycle

Because if you do, you can be registered as a sex-offender!
Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Get your dirty hands off that bicycle!!


According to a danish newspaper a 51 year old man from Scotland has been sentenced to 3 years suspended sentence for simulating sex with his bicycle...

Or rather for indecent exposure. He's going to be registered as a sexoffender for the next 3 years.

He was cought with his pants down - litterally - by cleaning personel in his room on Aberley House Hostel in Aye.
After knocking quite a few times and with no answer, they opened the door with their key. To find the Scottish man only wearing a t shirt, holding his bike and rocking his hips.

Obviously since cleaning personel never see naked men, they were very shocked. And the police was called.


I wonder if they had cought him with a woman, would the police have been called? No, most likely not. It's perfectly normal not to want to answer the door when you're in the middle of a sexual activity, whether it be with another person, yourself... or... a bike.
Each to their own.

The man, of course, claims it was a misunderstanding and that he was drunk...

I repeat: Do NOT rape your bicycle, you could be registered as a sexoffender!!

Is it really worth it?

Last week I made a post about war and the many people that end up on the street due to having served in a war.

Let me sum that up:
One out of 4 war veterans end up living on the street.

11% og all adult American are war veterans - That is ALOT of people!

It isn't just the Vietnam war that's put people on the street, it's also Iraq and Afghanistan.


Now, for my point for this post.
Today there was an article in the newspaper, based on a documentary made by CBS.
The article shows that the expected suicide count among war veterans in 2007 will be at least 5000!
In 2005 6256 war veterans killed themselves - thats a 120 people A WEEK!
Research have shown that war veterans have double the risk of taking their own lives than people who never served in a war...


SO:

- Between 200,000 and 500,000 of The United States of America's citizens end up living on the street as a result of having been in a war. (Traumas) (It's estimated that between 800,000 and 2million people live on the street at any given time)

- Over 5000 people kill themselves every year after serving in a war. (One would of course assume that alot of these also belong to the group of people mentioned above - but not all!)

- Other than that, it will also devasate the families of the above mentioned.

- It is not only the soldiers and their families that get their lives ruined, it is also that of innocent people living in the war-plagued contries. Many get killed, wounded or traumatized.

- And, a war costs ALOT of money (money that could have been spent on better things, such as the homeless - obviously not those that end up on the street due to war, since there wouldn't be any of those without wars)

Is it really worth it?

Again I want to point out the fact that I am NOT bashing the soldiers. Like I said in the other blogpost: They're very brave and should be admired for their courage!!

There's something rotten in the state of Denmark

Yesterday was supposed to be a day of celebration. It did become that, but not for those that deserved it.



It was the day that the government issued national election was to be held. With 3 weeks notice.

After 6 years of hell with a right-wing party sitting in the government taking decisions on behalf of the whole country - yesterday was supposed to be the day of liberation.



What have the last 6 years brought us? What have this man done?


Well he has helped Denmark out of it's national debt, wonderful.
Now is the time to use the extra money where the money is due. On the sick, the weak, the poor, the children, the elderly... Right?
Absolutely not, lets use the extra money on TAX RELIEF!!!


Lets give most of the money to those that vote right-wing. Let's give the richest another 625 dollars a year to spend on fancy TVs and cars that suck up all the gas.
The poorest will be fine with 62 dollars extra a year...


What about the sick? - Oh, well thet don't provide us with anything anyway, so 1 doctor per 30 patients is perfectly fine and a nurse tending to them 5 minutes aday is fine too. They need to stop being so demanding, sheeeesh!


What about the overworked doctors and nurses? - What about them? They chose that job, if they don't like it they're free to leave. It's a free country.


What about the people that live off a lousy social security because they're too sick or weak to work? - They're lazy, there's a diffeence. Everyone has to work for theyr own money. We won't supply them with money if they don't want to work (the fact that they really do want to work but can't doesn't matter...)


What about the elderly then? - What about them? A shower once a week should be enough, a toilet visit a day and diapers the rest of the day? What more could they possibly want???


And the children then? - They're their parents' responsibility, we can't babysit everyone. Kindergarten? So the parents don't like 25 toddlers per 1 kindergarten teacher? So what, then why don't they stop breeding and get back to work... Maternity and paternity leave is expensive enough...
Those parents need to live up to their responsibility and not expect everyone else to do the work for them...


The parents that are working 10 hours a day in the hospital nursing the sick that are stocked in the hallway because all the rooms are taken by even more sick and elderly people that ended up there because they didn't get good enough help to begin with...


Way to go Anders Fogh Rasmussen, you REALLY helped Denmark grow healthy and independant.


Everyone loves you and everyone loves how you and George W. Bush are soul mates who enjoy eating your, citizen-paid, caviar and drinking champagne while you watch innocent people in Iraq get their heads blasted off and laughing at the returning shoulders that cry like babies because they - boo hoo - went to war. (SIGH - Yeah, right... how can you be so cynical?!)



After 6 years of that, it would only be about time for a national election where people have had enough and went to vote social democratic. Where people went to vote for welfare over tax relief.
Voted for a government who cares about our future, about our children, about the sick and the elderly...


But no. People have not learned a thing... The 58 % that voted for the right-wing ONCE AGAIN, must be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome (Starting to care for your capturers).


It was one hell of a party last night - one that the Danish citizens will pay for with a nasty hangover that should last the next 3-5 years...

OMGWTFBBQ!!

Too friggin funny!

War

We're in the year 2007 - we're about to enter 2008.

We've got a technology that gets better and better by the minute! Even the 60s speed development wasn't as fast as what we're experiencing today.

Medically, in technology, mentally, even spiritualy...

So how come some people still think war is a solution to anything?
Sure they bring in the modern technology, but that does not make war "modern", "ethical" or anything close to "good".

War is still an oldfashioned way to try and solve things, a caveman-like behaviour.

War kills. War destroys. War makes history - a dark one at that.

It's time we wake up an realize this. The negative outcome DOES outweigh the positive outcome.

And why did I decide to rant about this now?
Because I just read an article that says 11% of adult Americans are war veterans. That tells a story of it's own that I don't think I need to get into...
What got my attention is that, we all know how many people live on the streets in the US - now picture all these people and you wonder how it happened?

Well let me tell you something, 1/4th of all the people living on the streets are war veterans. And not just from Vietnam. From Iraq and Afghanistan too.
This is a frightening figure.

These war veterans have a hard time adjusting to a normal life when they get back home.
Who can blame them? They went through alot.

This means the total loss and destruction goes up ALOT from the numbers you normally hear. Because those numbers are not counting those that lived, but still lost by ending up on the street and got their lives destroyed. (And the lives of those that love them)

Wake up. Find a more civilized way to solve your problems.


I want to make one thing clear... I am NOT bashing the soldiers, the men and the women that leave home to fight for what they think is right. They're very brave and should be admired for their courage.
I know alot of them do make a difference. And I know alot make it home safely and returns to their lives.
But they should never have been sent out in the first place.
No human should be given that task. No human being deserves to be that close to a war.

To the governments around the world, including the Unites States of America:
Please stop abusing your young men and women who trust and love you enough to be willing to die for you.
The trust will end somewhere and you'll have turned the love into hate.

I'm not stupid afterall

I found this Japanese IQ test, not your common IQ test. It's said to be given to job applicants in Japan.

I did solve it, and yes it was frustrating!
But I had it solved in less than 15 minutes
- I read somewhere that there's usually a time limit of 15 minutes on this test. I didn't read that till after I had solved it though.

The rules (please read them) and a link to the game can be found here:
www.robmathiowetz.com

What do we want?

What do we want from the people around us? What do we expect from them?

It's normal for a person to carry themselves along. Moved by their own wants, feelings and instincts even. Held up by their own spirit and willpower. It's the number one instinct of human nature; survival. After that comes wants and goals.
For animals survival is the most important instinct aswell and it's common for a pack to leave a sick or wounded packmember behind if it's slowing them down. A chain is no stronger than it's weakest link.
Humans are the same way, survival first, even if it means leaving a sick or wounded behind.

Most humans have a strong empathy for their closest; family and friends. Some go beyond and reach out to anyone who needs a helping hand.
But only few people are willing to be slowed down by helping a person who can no longer carry themselves along.

It isn't uncommon to be carried along by others, but it means giving up yourself and going only the ways of the carriers.

I find myself fallen and my spirit broken. Kicked and pushed along in the direction everyone else is going and want me to go.
I'm fallen, so "choice" is no longer an option for me. If I can't carry myself along, I don't get to choose my path. Should I try anyway, I would get left behind as the sick and wounded animal that is slowing down the entire pack.
My broken will is in the way and I'm nothing but an obstacle.
My spirit fight for it's right to choose it's own path. I do have a choice, but it's one that could easily break me.
Should I just let myself float along, carried by others' wants and maybe in the end get back on my own feet, but with the feeling of having lost a big part of me and my worth?
Or should I give up and let them go. Fall to the ground alone and wait... And in the end, either shrink and dissapear or raise to my own two feet, alone but with my self intact?


We want the people around us to walk behind us on our path, to fit in. We expect them to do as we do and not be in the way.
- If they don't live up to it, we leave them behind.

How to order food in a drive-through

Easy as that!

Less tax for women

Two italian economists, Andrea Ichino and Alberto Alesina - men - have suggested that since it seems impossible to achieve equal pay for men and women, that maybe women should simply pay less in tax. So the end result would be that men and women get the same payment.


Obviously that idea is generally a bad idea in the view of a man and a good idea in the view of a woman, yes, jealousy is a bad thing. Hehe.

In all seriousness though;
I'm a woman (possibly of the few) who believes that men and women will never and should never be completely equal. Simply because - we ARE not equal. We do not, biologically, possess the same abilities. Generally speaking.
Usually men are good with space, math, logic and speed. And they can't multitask.
Women are good with creative things, overview, details and they multitask really well.
Men don't read emotion well, women do.
Men read maps and sketches well because they can transform it into 3D - so to spek. Women can't.
All generalized of course.

That having been said, of course the pay needs to be equal for the same amount of work. A female burger flipper shouldn't be making less than the male burger flippers. A female doctor shouldn't be making less than a male doctor.
And so forth...

The same job done with the same effeciency requires the same paycheck regardless of gender.


So as for that, yes, lowering taxes for women until they reach the same outcome (or income rather!) in pay as the men have, would be a good idea.
But the idea has some major flaws...

There's going to be some male managers out there who simply do not agree. And so they either just lower the women's salary even further or they up the men's salary.
So unless the tax is fixed individually on a yearly basis for every single working person, I doubt it would work.

But the idea is good and the debate it creates is even better.

To spank or not to spank

I just watched something on TV and apparently this is one of the things parents still can't seem to agree on: Should spanking be part of raising your children or not?

I don't hear alot of arguments FOR spanking.
The most used is "Well, sometimes it's just needed!"

I'm wondering why it's sometimes just needed? It must be because the parent can't find another method of getting their child to behave a certain way.

To me, hitting is a sign of weakness. When people get into a regular fistfight, it's usually because words weren't good or effective enough.
And so instead of finding another way of dealing with it, it breaks into a fight.

The same goes for spanking your child, words aren't effective enough, so a spanking takes care of that.

It is in no way fair, because the child has no way of fighting back.

It is also not really teaching the child good morale. It may effective in the moment, but does it teach anything?
It does.
It teaches that is ok to hit someone that is smaller than yourself.
It teaches that if you can sort things out with words, hitting is an ok alternative.
It certainly doesnt teach the child to try to find another solution to their problems.

No, spanking does not necessarily raise violent people, but it certainly doesn't prevent it either.

There ARE alternatives to hitting your child. I realize you can't talk to a child the same way you talk to an adult, but you can explain to them that it makes you feel bad when they do something and that you would like them to do this or that instead. If they are to young to understand that, then they're too young to understand and reason why they're being spanked aswell.
At that age it'll require alot of patience, yes, but wake up; its part of parenting!
The child does't have to be very old before it can understand other measures of deciplining.
Such as taking away something the child likes for a period of time. TV, computer, favorite toy...
Or giving the child a timeout.

There are better ways of making a point, than by hitting!

I don't see any good reason to hit, especially not a child.

Nervous

Nervous… the feeling you get before a big test, giving a speech, being the host of an important party, going to a job interview, visiting friends… Visiting friends? Sadly, yes.
A visit to some friends’ house can indeed be very enjoyable, giving and entertaining.
But for me, it is something to just get over with.

I dread it long before we go and when we arrive I’m already calculating when I can leave again without being rude. I may have a good time there, but I don’t feel calm, relaxed and comfortable like you really ought to when you’re with friends.

Before leaving to visit some friends I may feel sick, which of course, only adds to the stress and dread of going. What if I’m still sick when we get there? I don’t want that kind of attention, you don’t go to other peoples home and be a bother! Maybe I should just stay home… Oh, what kind of a friend am I! I have to go, I don’t have a choice.

These thoughts and physical symptoms are not only occurring before visiting friends. They may occur before (and during) many events. Usually events involving other people and/or are situations I can’t easily get out of.

It’s not that I mind other people; I just wish I could be invisible among them.
I am afraid, but of what? I’m not sure, mostly of negative attention I think.

I remember one time we went to the Netherlands to visit my in-laws; they wanted us to come to church with them on Sunday. I had just had a cold and was in the stage where many people get tickly cough. The kind of dry, irritating cough that just won’t stop when it’s started. It will usually bring tears to your eyes, even before it starts, and the worst – it always happens when it’s most inconvenient.

Of course it happened to me inside the church, shortly after the service had started. Despite my stash of bonbons to keep me from coughing, it had to happen. I scrambled through the row of people and towards the door – to find it locked. Pulled on it a few times. It felt like forever and I knew people were watching me, but finally someone came to my help and showed me another door that was unlocked.
I stood outside with tears in my eyes, partly from the cough and part from being so embarrassed. It stopped and went back inside, only to have it begin again right after I had sat down. Again I rushed out, remembering to use the unlocked door this time. I found my way to the car where I spent the rest of the service. Ashamed of how rude I had been to cough and rush out of the church twice! And then to stay out, despite my in-laws wishes of us joining them. We had even been mentioned and welcome by the minister, because we had from so far away. The shame!

I know many would just shrug something like this off, some might even be a little embarrassed, but to me it was horrible and I was more than relieved that we were heading back home that day.





I get through the days without much trouble. I just try to avoid the troubling situations. I don’t visit friends much, I don’t invite people over much either and I try to keep my mind of things that may lead to too much worry and nervousness.

Unfortunately life consists of so many things that are possible to worry about. A phone for example is often used to deliver bad news. The mailbox is usually full of bills and invoices. Money is a huge issue if you, like me, worry about any possible thing you can worry about. I’m not quick to disagree when someone makes the statement that money is the root of all evil!
The sound of a car outside the house, when I don’t expect anyone can be very frightening.


Having me as a passenger in a car can be quite a ride, I’ll often say things like “Watch that woman!, “Look out for the dog!”, “It’s red!”. I don’t do it because I don’t trust the driver, but because I get images of bad things happening. I can see the woman tumbling across the engine hood, blood and her face twisted in pain. I can hear the sound of the brakes and the cry of the dog. I can almost feel the impact as our car slam into another in the intersection. I don’t mean to be rude… I really don’t.


As much as I wish to sometimes, I cannot lock myself in the house, bolt the doors and windows and unplug the phone. I refuse to live like that. I have to visit friends, I have to accept visits, I have to have a phone (That’s plugged in and able to actually ring!), I have to go to the theater, the beach, the mall, a festival, a market and things like that. But I’m not so sure for who I do those things? For me or for the people around me. I think it’s mostly the latter. I expose myself to situations where I feel uncomfortable again and again, I do things despite how I really feel about it, I try to live up to what people expect me to do.
But of course, I know, it isn’t just for others, it’s for me too. I know if I allowed myself to avoid every situation I find threatening, they would only get more and more threatening and the list of worries would grow.

I have learned that nervousness and worry are two things that are somewhat controllable – and not by avoiding things that cause them, but by doing the opposite, by facing them.

I live with the worry, I live with the nervousness and as a result I get tired, very tired, I get moody and my health isn’t as good as I could desire it to be.

I still push people away, I rarely go on visits and I still avoid “bad” situations, I have too if I don’t want to pass out from exhaustion. I only hope I don’t do it enough for the nervousness and worry to escalate.

The only positive thing I can think of right now is that I get to know who my real friends are…